At the beginning of the year I saw that the word ‘selfie’ has been added to the dictionary and was proclaimed one of the most important new words of 2013. Yippee??
Yesterday I saw a young woman taking a selfie. She was pouting seductively to…well, herself. Was she going to send the selfie to someone? I have no idea. Old fashioned as I am, I found it somehow so sad to see her being self-absorbed enough to pout and pose…well, as I said, for herself.
Then this morning I was looking out at the ocean. Good day for whales. I saw at least three, possibly four. And standing next to me was a young woman with a selfie-maker plus. It was a hot pink mini camera with a matching hot pink stick attached to the camera for…you guessed it. Taking better selfies, taking selfies from more angles, having a bit more distance, taking selfies looking down on herself. Here is the really unfortunate thing: While she was so busy taking photos of herself, she didn’t see the ocean, the sky, the whales. I mean, really, she could have been anywhere and taken her selfies, her photos of herself. She missed the moment, she missed being present to her surroundings. She missed seeing the whales. There isn’t too much that is really more exciting that seeing whales blowing and breaching right in front of your eyes. She missed it.
I’m watching a young woman and her mother sitting silently together on a couch. Apparently they have nothing to say to each other. They became animated when the daughter took out her phone for a duo-selfie. She put their heads together and smiled. Silence again. The young woman is busy on her phone, the mother staring ahead.
Are selfies real?
What are your kids missing while they concern themselves with their selfies? What in the big, wide, exciting, wonderful world are your kids, kids in general missing while they concern themselves with themselves. How few memories will they have because they forgot to look, to listen, to be in the moment? Why are they taking photos of themselves? I remember one mother saying to me he couldn’t understand why her son took so many selfies when he so clearly hated himself. A poignant question.
Then I thought of the kind of selfie that makes sense to me. Self reflection. Taking the time and the concentration to consider oneself in the world, reflecting on how one effects others, how one can effect others. Taking the time to notice being alive, to consider love and connection.
The selfie—the change from self refection to self absorption—or perhaps more accurately, the expression of a bored generation.
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