Monday, February 16, 2015

Bipolarized Life

By Carol Maxym Ph.D.

This morning (well, and for much of the day) the news was filled with the story of the Jordanian pilot murdered—executed---cruelly, viciously, by ISIS.  A deed, I suppose, committed by those for whom shock value is equal to a man’s life.  I cannot pretend to understand what makes someone think that burning another man alive is a worthwhile deed.
But here’s something else I don’t really get and that is a part of our everyday lives.  I watched coverage of the murder–it was on for a good 6 or more minutes uninterrupted..  Then came commercials.  So, suddenly I hear soft clincky music and I learn about a medication for a made-up disease.  Then comes the sexy lady with the Viagra pitch.  Then come the kids dressed like adults throwing phones trying to sell me I have no idea what because I’ve muted them.  Then comes the car insurance…Then, back to the news.
What about feelings?  What about the complete disruption of feelings?  The honest, authentic reaction to the vile, evil deed done by ISIS, then silly, manipulative, deceptive froth to make me buy stuff.  What does that do to feelings?
After the ads we return to more commentary, a bit of detail about the murder, and a few photos of the murdered pilot.  And feelings…once again justified outrage, disgust, horror.  And then, again, back to the manipulation, the manipulative music.  Murder.  Fluff.  Horror.  Silliness.  Whatever you may think of ads, compared to the reality of the execution by burning alive of the Jordanian pilot, it is fluff and silliness.  I am not saying we should grieve endlessly, but can’t we show some respect???
Is it really any wonder that kids (and adults) feel mood swings?  We are being programmed into constant, violent mood swings on a minute-by-minute basis.  How are we supposed to process those emotional swings? 
I think the answer is that mainly we don’t/can’t process that rapidity of mood change,  We don’t even exactly acknowledge them because they are a part of daily life.  It isn’t much different on the Internet.  Information stimulates this emotion then that one—horror to hope in 23 seconds or less. 
Honestly, I don’t think humans are really meant to be able to process emotions that way.  I don’t think that kids have a chance to be emotionally stable when they are being taken from hideous to cute in the blink of an eye.  And that is also true of lots of other parts of kids lives.  Think about it.

What to do?  Well, neither you nor I can change the world situation.  Nor can we change or influence the ads that come your way, your children’s way.  I think, however, being aware—acutely aware—is the key.  If you are aware of the way your emotions are being swung, tampered with, manipulated, it is much easier to avoid the swing.  Teaching your children about the swings and how not to become involved is a life lesson like teaching how to fish instead of giving a fish.

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