Some Thoughts

I imagine you have looked at any number of blogs and websites, read books and/or listened to parenting pundits, and found that the short cuts to things working better with your kids don’t generally work…or work only a little and not for very long. The La-la land of theoretical change or rehearsed speeches (when your child doesn’t do his part in the prescribed way) isn’t where you can afford to spend your parenting time. Whatever all you are juggling, I know it’s a lot. So, I promise: No la-la land here. No short cuts here. No magic bullets. This will be real, thought-provoking, focused. The goal is to help you to find the solutions that will work in your busy life.

Use what you read here as something to mull over walking from the parking lot into your office or the grocery story, in those five minutes of quiet before the kids come home or soccer practice ends. Use it to discuss with your parenting partner or your best friend or your mother or father.

Posts will be about 500 words or less most days—short enough for you to bring up on your screen and read in less than 5 minutes. Our point is to help you to re-think, re-categorize, re-frame your questions, thoughts, wonderings about being a parent. Sometimes we’ll be there just to help you vent your frustrations, or give voice to your fears.

You know the basic idea is simple: If you ask the right question, you are more likely to find the right answer. (Conversely, if you ask the wrong question, the chances of the right answer are severely diminished.) In our over therapized world, too often the questions are confused and the answers no better than babble. In general, we’ll stay away from ‘why’ questions in favor of ‘what’ and ‘how’ questions. Sometimes ‘why’ is important; more often know the what—the real content and structure—of the issue is more likely to lead to the ‘how’ of creating change. Like so many other aspects in your life, once you have had the opportunity to take apart the problem and see it from other perspectives, you will find your answers.

When I talk to clients and they respond, “I never thought of it that way,” I know that I have helped them because they are now better able to help themselves find the answers that will work in their family. I hope there will be some days, many days when you will say, “H’mmm. I never thought of it that way.”