I imagine you have looked at any number
of blogs and websites, read books and/or listened to parenting
pundits, and found that the short cuts to things working better with
your kids don’t generally work…or work only a little and not for
very long. The La-la land of theoretical change or rehearsed
speeches (when your child doesn’t do his part in the prescribed
way) isn’t where you can afford to spend your parenting time.
Whatever all you are juggling, I know it’s a lot. So, I promise:
No la-la land here. No short cuts here. No magic bullets. This will
be real, thought-provoking, focused. The goal is to help you to
find the solutions that will work in your busy life.
Use what you read here as something to
mull over walking from the parking lot into your office or the
grocery story, in those five minutes of quiet before the kids come
home or soccer practice ends. Use it to discuss with your parenting
partner or your best friend or your mother or father.
Posts will be about 500 words or less
most days—short enough for you to bring up on your screen and read
in less than 5 minutes. Our point is to help you to re-think,
re-categorize, re-frame your questions, thoughts, wonderings about
being a parent. Sometimes we’ll be there just to help you vent your
frustrations, or give voice to your fears.
You know the basic
idea is simple: If you ask the right question, you are more likely
to find the right answer. (Conversely, if you ask the wrong
question, the chances of the right answer are severely diminished.)
In our over therapized world, too often the questions are confused
and the answers no better than babble. In general, we’ll stay away
from ‘why’ questions in favor of ‘what’ and ‘how’
questions. Sometimes ‘why’ is important; more often know the
what—the real content and structure—of the issue is more likely
to lead to the ‘how’ of creating change. Like so many other
aspects in your life, once you have had the opportunity to take apart
the problem and see it from other perspectives, you will find your
answers.
When I talk to clients and they
respond, “I never thought of it that way,” I know that I have
helped them because they are now better able to help themselves find
the answers that will work in their family. I hope there will be
some days, many days when you will say, “H’mmm. I never thought
of it that way.”
